chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
two words: eviction party
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused