Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"