maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You dont lie about slip and slides
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."