thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
