He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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