i jhust puked up my retainher.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
