I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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