i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize