I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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