Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
