We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
