We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What drink are we having for lunch?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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