Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
