The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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