Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She even gives head with a lisp.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
