I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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