Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Randomize
