i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize