im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
