Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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