Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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