I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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