I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
