Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
