he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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