All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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