did you get engaged???
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
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easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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