I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
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I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
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Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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