i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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