To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
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just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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