So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize