you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
