she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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