Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
