her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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