how can u be prego again
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
