I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
