We're like a lot better than the average bears
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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