She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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