I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
