If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize