I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
