Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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