he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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