Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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