You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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