You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
