TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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