can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
