I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
