3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
