I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
