ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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