I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
