I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so let's talk penis.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm both gender and math confused
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
