Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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