So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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