I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you never un-have a 4some
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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