I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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