it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
