we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
